Monday, 24 November 2014

Oh Crap!

  I worked on a Workaway vineyard site in central Portugal for 6 weeks and I became a bit of a blood hound - always checking myself to see if I smelled. You know - crap!
  There were the proverbial dogs - four of them no less. Along with those wild and footloose critters, we had a gaggle of nasty, frickin' geese - deadly I tell you and did they ever leave a trail of good tidings all over the place.
  The chickens went every which way but loose and to top it off, the vineyard had 50 sheep that helped fertilize the vineyards, road, walkways and the bottom of my boots.
  For all the time I worked on the vineyard farm, I always wore my rubber boots - rain or shine. When entering the guest house, I left them outside as I didn't want to track any solid and smelly stuff into the living quarters. When entering the main house for meals, I also took my boots off but alas, I would immediately step on leftovers from the dogs' feet as they were allowed into the sundeck and eating area. So much for clean socks.
  Halfway through my vineyard tenure, I took a break to relax in Porto. To make sure I didn't carry any lingering animal leftovers and smells, I diligently cleaned all my clothes and shoes. The vineyard owner picked me up in his truck outside the guest house to take me to the train station and I silently cursed as I had to step between the offerings made by all the animals. I got into the truck, looked at my shoes and trousers - everything looked good so far.
  While waiting for the train on the platform, a stray dog wouldn't leave my feet alone - he came and went and in both directions, stopped and sniffed my shoes. I knew what he was smelling and where the hell is that late train?!
  Halfway to Porto, I had to switch trains to a commuter train which had standing room only. I was tired and half dozing off and kept thinking I was back on the vineyard as I was smelling crap again. I opened my eyes, looked around and right beside me was a mother holding her baby and guess who had a very full diaper? I couldn't get away from the stuff!
  Arriving in Porto, I escaped the lingering farm smell and drowned it with some very nice old Port wine. It worked so well that I took 3 bottles of it back to the vineyard.


No comments:

Post a Comment